What a bummer..

Brunch is getting old, so is the cold weather, gray clouds, strong winds, annoying drizzles and broken umbrellas. If I had tons of cash, I could probably still be happy shopping, but then again, the rain would destroy my brand new leather bag and shoes anyway.
It was really bright and sunny this morning. It's not anymore.

Screw you guys, I wanna go home. This sucks aS*.

I'm not over the Hill
Is it London that's depressing, or is it the memories it holds, that makes me melancholy all over again? I found this circular and somewhat inconsequential question occupying my mind most of last week.

But as the week drew to a close, and the mundane routine of rush hour train rides, excruxiatingly drawn out trainings and mandatory after work grocery shopping came to a temporary halt, I felt my spirits lift as I remembered once again, what it was about this city that made me (and as I found out, still makes me) happy.

If Sunday brunch is an institution, then Saturday brunch is a pre-requisite to a perfect start to the weekend; and where better than the one place I spent many a wonderful days, strolling through the markets, peeking enviously through boutique shop windows and hating the multitude of tourists that seemed to defile the otherwise tranquil landscape?

Notting Hill, a little suburb in London made famous by the movie of the same name; a little alternative, a little grungy, a little fashionable and so very pretty. The tree-lined streets and grand white terraces were as I remembered them. The little boutiques and my favourite cafes were exactly where they used to be. How delighted was I with my pre-brunch purchase from one of those shops which I had, barely 2 years ago, looked into and given a little sigh of desire.

My pretty yellow shoes, sat in their pretty brown box, in a pretty brown bag, on the sleek white chair at Raoul's. My order arrived, I held my breath, knife and fork poised in anticipation. A gentle slit. The delicate egg burst open and a beautiful, rich river of yolk oozed out. But what filled the plate was more than just a bright yellow colour; here, coccooned in a tiny corner table, surrounded by luxe black and white wallpaper, the sights, sounds and flavours brought back memories of stories swapped, unexpected friendships and promises made.
The familiar chatter brought a tiny smile to my lips, lips which i smacked, as I polished off the last morsels of my delightful eggs benedict. The bill arrived, I did a quick conversion in my head, and gasped, my lovely memories rudely interrupted by a less desirable one. Yes, it's true. London is impossibly expensive. Then again, how can anyone put a price on the little things that make life worth living?
We said see you later, kisses on each cheek. Yes, it's not goodbye.
Someday, in the distant future, I will sit in my rocking chair, and I will remember these moments and cherish each and every one them.
Someday, I will be old and gray, but I will definitely never be over the Hill.

運命
I believe in fate.










hakuba Jan 2004.

The best things in life aren't free,
but they sure as hell are worth every single cent!
I'd like to think that I've never been one for cliches, overt displays of sentimentality, or late night burgers. I guess tonight is the night I break all the rules..
So here I am, left hand juggling a 1/2 filled wine glass and a whopper, right hand typing furiously away the adages that we are all well acquainted with.
the best things happen when you least expect it; if someone told me a year ago that I would have the best year of my life, meet the most intelligent and amazing people, be reunited with my family AND fall in love with the most unbelievable man in the world, I would have dismissed him or her with a wave of my hand. well... SURPRISE!
all good things must come to an end; Rubbish!
sing like no one's listening, dance like no one's watching, love like you've never been hurt, live like it's heaven on earth: tonight, sing and dance we did! And if anyone was listening or watching, my apologies!
I've never been in love like this before, so thank you my darling.
And to all those who have never heard of carpe diem, live, I say LIVE, before it's all over... in a blink of an eye...

frostbitten fingertips
the end of 2006, the end of an era. what a year it has been..
although it feels somewhat premature to be reflecting on the year gone by, this cool, gray afternoon, the sound of raindrops tapping on the trees outside my window inspires my soul to awaken from its year-long slumber; a new blog, a new life, a new me, back where it all began, singapore.
ten years have gone, in what feels like a fleeting moment. perhaps the only signs are a few telling lines on my face, or maybe, a much wiser mind, and a soul that feels so much more at peace.
i feel i have spent most of my life in a state of change. was it to seek a better place, or was it because i couldn't bear being where i was? the seasons changed, and my life turned with the ebb and flow of nature. back here, for the first time in ten years, nothing , and everything, has changed. there has been no summer, no spring, no autumn and no winter. and yet, it feels like i returned in a whirlwind, taking up my past, meeting the present, seeing the future, and settling with the dust, only to find happiness.
and how is it ,that i still feel the seasons?
the autumn lights illuminate my soul, as I remember my grandmother in her twilight years. Death comes to us all, and this woman, my grandmother, embraced it, welcomed it even, with the same courage she used to embrace life.
my heart warms like the summer when I see my mother filled with hope and finding new possibilities; my sister chasing her dreams, and reaching out to them as they get closer and closer, soon to be in her grasp; and when i feel the love of my friends, their tears, their laughter, and just them living life, the way it was meant to be lived..
and what of spring? it is a new begining, and it brings such beauty into my life, just as the love of my life has brought with him. for he is like the flower you find unexpectedly in the garden when you step outside on the first day of spring, and it makes you smile, even as it takes your breath away.
sadly, my heart also feels the chill of winter, as my mind fills with thoughts of my father, and I realise the irony: had he not left us, perhaps, none of this would have come to pass.
the antipodean seasons are all within me, and indeed, I feel the excitement, tempered with a strange calm.
i reach out to hold the hands of those around me.
winter is here, my lovelies, but have no fear in your hearts..

the birth of a new blog...winter is here my lovelies